So much for this, right?

Ouch.
"This is what it's like...
...since my last this is what it's like post on March 4th.

It's like I have this faith that God really did make someone for me. Like he molded him with me in mind. And that I was molded with him in mind.

I don't know how to explain it. I've never felt this before. Sure, I've been in love. Sure, I've thought it could last. But there wasn't this feeling of being made for each other. It was more like feelings happened out of convenience.

The things he says to me blow my mind. It's like he's been crawling around in my brain for years and took everything I could ever dreamed of being told and is speaking them.

Yes, it's like that. Without knowing it's what I want to hear, he says it. It's like he's known me for forever. I've heard people say such things but couldn't begin to fathom what it was like, and I couldn't really figure out what it meant.

But God...that's what it's like. It's like he's known me forever and that he was designed for me. What more could I want?

This distance kills me, but at the same time, it gives me more faith in us. We can both continue to strengthen ourselves with God so that when we are together, we don't screw up.

This weekend was beyond amazing with him. I was so scared that all of the feelings I was feeling came from not being able to see him, and that it was all too good to be true, but that wasn't the case. The sparks were still there while we were together. The smile was plastered to my face. The fire in my heart burned and burned and burned, and it's continuing to burn and grow.

I think about it all and it feels surreal. I feel so lucky to have that surreal feeling. It was that good.

He traced the lines of my face. He kissed me and knelt beside me. He's everything I've dreamed of, and more. I didn't know I could have it this good.

I pray for us everyday.

Girls, I hope you stop and search for this. This feeling compares to nothing else. The respect, and the pure love. The love that isn't caught up with lust.

Everything I feel makes me feel so funny, and different. Like I was laying in bed with him stroking his face and his hair...examining it all, and taking it all in, and in something so small, I felt this rush and emotions flooded over me. There was something in touching him like that that made me feel so...warm, romantic, loving, happy, grateful... Just everything.

Basically what it's like is I'm always feeling these feelings that I didn't know existed."