Tereza and Tomas.

I did it. I decided to say yes. I have a boyfriend. It's weird. I haven't had the actual titled "boyfriend" since March or April of 2005. It's been a long time, and I gotta say, it's nice. It's nice knowing someone wants to talk to you, and wants to see you, and wants to show you off, and wants to call you their own, and wants to just simply care. And it's also nice to kiss someone sober. Haha. I like actually being coherent. I haven't had a sober kiss since like January.

But it's more than just the kiss. It's the fact that the kiss isn't to lead to more. Normally it's like you kiss someone to stimulate them, and they kiss you to do the same, then you get worked up, cross that line. And that's that. You don't go anywhere. But here, it's finally like safe ground for kissing. It doesn't have to go further because the point of the kisses aren't for arousel and sex. And I almost feel secure.

I feel secure in the way he looks at me alone. The way he just wants to admire. And it's sad because I almost get weirded out when he does, when all along, guys should have been doing that with me. I AM gold, and should be looked at like I am. I am not some copper colored bead, I am all pure, gold.

And I appreciate his self-control, and him not pressuring me. It shows he respects me. And I appreciate his maturity. And I appreciate his effort. He worked pretty hard, and he won.

I kinda lost my train of thought, but the point is, I have a boyfriend. And I am happy.