I...

...am easily annoyed, I'm needy, I pass a lot of judgement, I'm not good at math, I don't have patience to learn, I can't play an instrument, I have to have my way, I am restless until I can't my way which can be annoying and immature, I talk too much, I rarely sleep, I have a messy room, I think I'm prettier than a lot of people and always talk about how pretty I am, I hate having people be the boss of me, I can't be tamed, I'm closed minded in some cases, I think too much, I analyze everything and analyze it all too much, I pester til someone understands why I'm so over analytical, I get attached to people and things far too easily, I save too much because I'm so stupidly sentimental, I worry a lot, I get reeeally jealous over STUPID things, I'm a Myspace lurker, I have too much time on my hands, and I'm so hyper I can hardly sit and watch a movie.

But...

I have a lot of patience and understanding for people, I know what it is to love unconditionally, I'm ridiculously wise, I'm pretty intelligent, I'm good at processing feelings, I'm good at processing other people's feelings, I'm good at reading people and reading their mannerisms, I'm so good at reading people that I can make an assumption that they have an eating disorder or been molested and be right, I can connect to anyone who sits and talks to me, I have a big heart, I use how pretty I am to charm people, I am willing to respect, I am willing to be the wife who submits to her husband as long as he respects me, I am always convicted because of all of my morals, I'll never let anyone think I didn't care about them because I fight for them to stay if they try to walk away, I remember important details, I remember cute things, I try to make people feel special, I like to get things done, I am goal oriented, I dress well, I take the time to look nice so I feel nice and treat people kindly, I'm good with meeting new people, I never need to be baby-sat since I am so comfortable with myself that I can go out there and talk to strangers.

I'm really flawed. But I have so much that counts.

I never

saw myself as the one who needed to change. I never saw that I'd be the person to push people away because of bad habits.
It hurts to know.

But I am grateful that I know so much about myself that it's not hard to change. I am in fact more fun sober... I can actually speak normal sentences, rather than slur obscenities. I can actually pay attention to what people are saying. I can actually walk. Maybe the more sober controlled life is THE life. I hated the brought on hell, I really did. I just didn't see that there was a reason to walk out.