The thing is...

...I was there when you needed me. I stuck by your side, and you left. I'm not mad you left, but you did, so I moved on. Now you don't need me like you used to, so don't be angry at me that I can't be your party friend any more. If you needed me, I'd be there still, but the thing is, you didn't need me last night. You wanted me to party with you, which yeah, it would have been fun to do, but it wouldn't be worth causing a wave in my relationship.

I'm not gonna start a fight that I'll be left behind to repair, because you'll end up leaving in a few days back to your life, and this is my life.

My life is preparing to be a wife. I'm not just a girlfriend. The world has belittled what a girlfriend really is and has turned it into a "just", so while many may be "just a girlfriend", I am not that. I am a girlfriend. A girlfriend working to get a ring on my finger, and have a promise made that my best friend will always and forever be my best friend. A promise where he can't move and leave me behind to figure out his life, and have me figure out my own life. He and I are in this together, and proving to one another that we love and respect each others' wishes.

I'm sorry I'm hurting you in the process of, but it's how it is. Sooner or later you'll do it too. You'll find someone to settle down with and make priority over your friends. I just happened to make the jump first.

I wish you didn't say such mean things though. I was really hurt when I went out there for my birthday trip and you couldn't finish an hour drive after I made 7 hours of it... I didn't tell you you were a lame friend and this and that and that you were a half ass friend. I was really hurt, but whatever, it happened, and it wouldn't have been worth the fight.

And you're in the process of choosing him over me, and I don't want to feel it. I would have made an honest effort to see you as soon as you got here, but I knew he was the priority and I didn't want to feel the hurt of the realization of it. I've been venting to my other half the last couple of weeks about how I've been replaced. You're not the only one feeling it.

But whatever, the boys were right, right? And they'll never peace out on you, right? I'm the only looow one who will do that cause I am just thaaaat bad of a person...

I just settled down first.