Funny...

..watching myself evolve.

I finally took out my nose piercing. I've had it for 2 years and 2 months, and I'm over it. It's all more than just a hole though.

It's like closure from my defiant past.

Yeah, I look good with piercings, and yeah, I like they way they look on people, but at the same time, they can reflect some self-loathing going on.

It's funny looking at pictures of myself with my septum, Monroe, and my nose. I looked good, but not me. I'm not that girl. I'm the pretty natural brunette who is going to be the lady who wears a new black dress everyday with Chanel glasses.

I'm kind of sad that I'm going to let it close, especially because I look really cute with a nose ring, but I'm tired of being silly. I'm ready to keep the pearl earrings in my ears and not look confused. Pearl earrings with tons of piercings just doesn't fit.

I'm ready to be the classy lady who's taken home to mothers. I used to be that girl, and sometime at 16, I got confused and hated myself, and covered myself with big hair and lots of make-up. I really did look pretty, and my hair was beautiful jet black, but I was so fake looking. I love looking fake, I really do. But why when I look so nice not fake?

I guess it's a sign of maturity. No one wants to take a girl home to their mother looking as made up as I did.

You used to not even be able to see the color of my eyes cause I'd pack on so much eyeliner. It always looked like I was ready to go out somewhere. And it took soo long to get ready that I really wouldn't get anywhere.

Once my hair gets really long, I intend to dye it back to black though. I can't wait to have long black hair with a heavy straight across bang. Can't wait!

I don't know. I'm just pleased with how I see myself now. Sure, I'm still confused about a lot, and a lot about myself, but I don't hate myself. And by wearing less make-up, and looking less fake, I think it shows I like myself and I don't need to hide under so much.

Tuesday

-Woke up far too early at Bonnie's cause Clark is totally rude and jumps on me with all of his weight.
-Took Bonnie to pick up her car.
-Went home and got ready to go to COD to see if I could get financial aid. BIG FAT waste of time. I don't qualify. Wahhh. I couldn't even get the BOG Waiver.
-Went to the mall to get Desiree a birthday present, even though I really don't owe her one considering I did a kick ass weave on her last week, and cut. But I got her a pair of cute earrings to wear with her fabulous wedding ring.
-Tried to kill some time cause I needed to go to Verizon, but James didn't work til 1, so I went to the bank and slowly deposited money, and got gas.
-Finally 1 rolled around I got to go get a phone charger and got to bring my precious baby back to life.
-Picked Tess up from school, got her ready for ballet, took her to ballet, and picked her up from ballet. I'm already such a good mom.
-Myspaced it far too much, and only got annoyed and jealous. I should just delete that shit already.
-My brother came over so I talked to him for a bit. He got me this awesome huge disco ball from BCBG. They needed to take down the display, and I reeeally wanted the disco ball. Woo. I love it.
-Bonnie, Al, and I went to the gym. Kicked my ass. I did the Olyptical for an hour. OUCH. My toes went numb and my butt and calves were on fire. Then I swam 900 meters. Totally tired. But it felt good. I need to get my mind of people and things and use my energy in a better way.