Was

Europe a lie? My birthday? Father's Day? My mom's birthday? Christopher's birthday? Our trip to Coronado? Our trip up North? Our dinners? Our pictures?

I'm jealous of everyone who has what I thought we had. I am so angry. So angry. I can't see straight. I don't know how I'm going to learn to live.

I pray. I pray. I pray. I hope you mean what you say. Give it a good fight. For yourselves. For us. For life.

Once more with the feeling.

The pain has only gotten worse. I thought that it would maybe subside some, but no. It is now running from stomach down to my feet, and into my toes. It is in my arms, numbing my fingers. I can't express enough how much I'd rather be
DEAD.