In the last 2 weeks, I haven't had much to drink, and have been so clear headed. I really don't like who I am when I drink. I get insecure and on the defense and am this whole other person. I'm wild and say and think the craziest things. I hate it. I think I may be more crazy than I am fun when I am drunk.

It's such a sad though because I've spent so much time being intoxicated beyond recognition.

Saturday night was like a wake-up call. I only had like 3 shots, but felt myself get icky, and awkward. I was with Bebo, and I started all this nonsense out of my insecurity, where on Friday, I was totally sober, and I was confident, ok, enjoyed my time, enjoyed him, and enjoyed it all.

I don't know why I do that to myself.

Funny how...

...it's said that you have your whole life to live, and other times it's said that life is short.

Which is it?

Combat baby...

...don't go quietly, combat baby, say you'll never give up easy.