My bones no longer ache at the thought the of your name. I can make your name ring in my head and my mind and body remains calm. Steady. Just regular. The same as when I say a friend's name. I don't get angry. I don't fill myself with regret. I don't feel anything. I am me. I don't think about you before I go to sleep, and I don't think about you when I wake up.

After years, I am finally free. A far more consistent free. I'd been liberated before, but a more unstable liberation. This is the real thing. I know it in my heart. Finally. My heart doesn't speed up, or slow down. It beats as it should. With it's movement, I know. I am sure.

You gave me closure. I thought it may be the start of a new chapter, and a dreaded one at that. Thank God it was just something to free me of a sick and ugly cycle.

I'm no masochist, and I won't ever be like one again. I won't ever be a coward again either.