I miss..

...collecting sand dollars on the beach in La Jolla, Saturdays when he'd take us to go buy pogs, nights when he'd babysit me and did whatever it took to entertain me including letting me do his make-up, when he'd take me to Wal-Mart and buy me a Barbie and a My Little Pony on random nights, laying on the couch with him while he'd listen to classical music or The Smashing Pumpkins or The Wallflowers or Dave Matthews band, when he helped in my classroom, when he'd take me swimming, when he'd take me to the Rec Center Park and we'd play Hide-N-Seek and he'd always hide in the same place, when we'd go rent movies together, the time I was playing in the truck and I switched some gears and started rolling and he dashed to get me, when we were in Colorado and I had to throw a fish I caught back in the water and I cried and cried and he tried to comfort me, when I first started to fall apart and he said, "I'll always love you.", when he was my constant playmate, or in my very first memory, I was a baby standing in my crib crying and he came to get me in his towel, when he tried teaching me how to tell time, when he brought Rutherford to my Show and Tell, when he used to entertain me and my best friends Ernesto and Baltazer after school and they'd come over, when he'd take me bike riding, when he'd take me to find Rutherford whenever he went missing, how we'd always be the first to find him and show eachother our excitment, how when my mom worked late when I was 3, he bathed me and combed my hair and put a clip in it, or when I needed a braid and he would do one even though it would come out loose and crappy, when we'd watch VH1 Music Videos together, when I'd dress-up as something really weird, which I did do often, and he'd laugh and take pictures of me, when he took me to The Palm Desert park to watch a Romeo and Juliet play, when I'd try my very best to get into Shakespear with him even though I hated it, but I wanted to love it cause he did, when he'd take me to the Indio library...

I miss so much. Maybe if I or we needed him more, it'd all be ok, cause it seemed pretty damn good then.